View Full Version : Letter from a farm kid

Master Aegidius
02-24-2006, 07:51 PM
This is an email sent to me by my dad, who flew helicopters for the Marine Corp back in Vietnam.


Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine
Corps beats working for old man Minchby a mile. Tell them to join up quick
before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got
to stay in bed till nearly 6 A.M. but I am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and
shine some things No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to
split, fire to lay Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so
bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice,
cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,
fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can
always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours
holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys
can't walk much We go on "route marches,"which the platoon sergeant says are
long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then
the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is
nice but awful flat The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot.
The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around
and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer
with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The
bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't
shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie
there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges.
They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle
with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.
It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they
got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat
him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds
and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get
onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

02-24-2006, 10:31 PM

02-24-2006, 10:39 PM
Priceless? I want my 2 minutes back!
In all seriousness I started reading this with absolute attention and soon realized I had been betrayed. Joke is on me then I imagine...

02-25-2006, 06:16 AM
It was kinda funny...when I read it a couple years ago.

Rotor Strike
02-25-2006, 11:50 AM
Last time I saw that a few years ago, it was a son writing home, not the daughter.

02-25-2006, 07:11 PM
It's the daughter bit that makes it priceless.

02-26-2006, 11:28 AM
Yeah...but they should've changed a few things.

For instance, there are no female recruits at MCRD San Diego. In bootcamp, you don't have "platoon sergeants" and unless you broke a leg, you were never in a truck.

Not very accurate (saw plenty of farm boys who fell out on humps) but still funny.